YOU CAN CALL ME HEAVENLY: Zoya Tomoko

I have a love-hate relationship with Zoya and am on a (well-intentioned) no-buy right now, but this happened. It is one of the fall PixieDust collection, but it is unseasonably cool today, so I gave myself a preview.

  

Kawase Tomoko is what I want to be when I grow up and we have the same birthday and WOULD TOTALLY BE TWINS IF I WERE SIX INCHES SHORTER AND ASIAN LET'S BE BEST FRIENDS OKAY

  

WE CAN WEAR OUR CAT EARS TOGETHER AND I WILL BAKE STRAWBERRY CREAM CUPCAKES

  

I am not a huge fan of the textured polish thing, but this is shiny enough that I can forgive it. The Zoya "Pixie" thing is too precious for me to forgive, however. THAT'S JUST WEIRD GUYS and coming from me that's saying something....

  

I also discovered the Great Galloping Gallons promotion, where if you buy four 32-ounce bottles of Remove+ you get four free. The price per ounce is 39 cents as opposed to $1.25 per ounce when you buy the flipper thing. If you can steel yourself to spend $100 at once on nail polish remover, it's a bargain.

  

Two gallons of remover should last a couple months at least.

MERMAIDS PART ONE: Damn you, Deborah Lippmann.

I was somewhat enthusiastic about the Deborah Lippmann mermaid collection this spring but did well at not ordering them. Then I happened to visit an Ulta that carries the brand (mine doesn't). INSTANT FAIL. Let us start with Do the Mermaid. I'm doubtful about the name. Is "the mermaid" a dance? Google is not helping.

  

Note how it complements my new amethyst ring. PURCHASE JUSTIFIED.

  

I also acquired her Gel Lab base and top coats while the getting was good. Although they are hella expensive, it was a good buy. I used them with another polish and someone asked me if it was a gel manicure. SUCCESS. Wear time is better than Orly Bonder and Seche Vite (if there is no inherent flaw in the nail).

  

NEXT UP: Mermaid's Kiss.

OPI LIQUID SAND: at least it's purple

OPI's Facebook page claims this will be available "as early as" January 2, 2013. I purchased this on December 29, 2012 and saw it in a salon the day before. Do they purposely give us a fake availability date and then release them sooner to make us all excited that we found something early? Or it is a failing on the retail side? what-ever.

I was not interested in "matte glitter" and object to Mariah Carey so had no plans to pick up any of the OPI Liquid Sand polishes. Then I was at Ulta, and then there was a purple one, and why does this always happen....

  

OPI Can't Let Go. I like it more than expected. Dry time is pretty good, and it's holding up well for lack of top coat. I've had this on about forty-eight hours, and there's just some minor tip wear...but I have an overwhelming urge to pick at it.

  

I am afraid this may require lasers to be removed.

  

The texture is interesting, but two thick layers of Seche Vite transform it into shiny love-love as shown below. Although SOMEONE just told me that looks "kind of like vomit," so I guess it's personal preference.

  

JULEP DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A WORD: Anne and Melissa

Julep doesn't seem to get a lot of love, even now that you can get them at Sephora. Honestly, that's because they kind of suck. The formula is appalling, the colors are not inspired, and ZOYA already had the market cornered on "polishes with weird girl names." That said, I'm a sucker for their mystery boxes, and the Best Pedi Creme Ever! actually is - unfortunately it is also the Most Expensive Pedi Creme Ever!.

Here for you today we have Julep Anne (purple) and Melissa (shiny cool color)(as opposed to "shiny warm color," not "sugoi-iro").

  

People report a lot of trouble balancing the oddly-shaped bottles, but I haven't tipped one over yet. As I can knock over a glass of water superglued to the floor, I can only conclude everyone else is painting their nails blacked out drunk.

  

I reiterate: APPALLING FORMULA. THIS STUFF WILL NOT DRY. EVER. BECAUSE IT IS THICK. REALLY, REALLY, REALLY THICK.

  

I didn't think I was going to like Melissa until I put it over this, and then it appealed to me in an "oh look it matches my porch" kind of way.

According to Julep's profile quizzes, I am a "Classic Boho Beauty Bombshell with an It Girl Twist." Oh, you!




seriously, say it three times fast. julepjulepjulep

HOLO LOVE: Layla Ultra Violet

LOOK AT THIS. I WANT TO PUT ALL MY FINGERS IN MY MOUTH AT ONCE. IT WILL TASTE LIKE UNICORNS AND LIGHTNING AND FIRE AND SUGAR AND RAINBOWS AND STAR SPRINKLES.

  

The only other holo-ish polish I have is OPI DS Design, which never looked all that good on the nail. These pictures show nails with neither base nor top coat, although I added Seche Vite later. It in no way impaired the OMGSHINY. I did use the recommended nail buffing device prior to application, but my nails are generally pretty smooth so I don't think it made any difference.



This would be my favorite polish in the universe ever except that three nails on my right hand were badly chipped within 24 hours. Aaaand I just chipped one on my left. So I think this might make a stunning accent nail but maybe not the best for a full hand. I really need to suck it up and order the Nfu Oh aqua base as that probably would help quite a bit.

  

It is also a nice color in the shade.

  

nom nom nom nom nom nom nom

ZOYA Smoke and Mirrors

As it is now September, I deem the season to be autumn for all practical purposes and can rotate the polish accordingly.

I bought just three of the twelve Zoya Smoke and Mirrors collection. Some of the others appealed to me, but the swatches I'd seen didn't look that great. If I find any on clearance later, I may pick up a couple more, in particular Yara and Cynthia.

Zoya Jana (smoke):







I am somewhat fond of this one. Personally I would call it a purple-based taupe. It went on quite smoothly and didn't make me want to punch babies. The wear wasn't very good, but this is a recurring problem I have with Zoya. Their color selection is above par, however, so I continue to purchase.

Zoya Nimue (mirror):






This was super shiny. The "sun" picture was taken in my car as I was fairly certain the light would be past prime before I left work (as indeed it was). The other one, I don' t know, at least two of the three light bulbs in my bathroom are supposed to be "daytime natural" or whatever, but it doesn't look like it.

Zoya Neeka (mirror):






Actually, I was disappointed in this one (should have gotten Cynthia instead). The bottle looks like the polish is way more glittery than it is once on the nail. The only photo I got that came close to capturing that was like. D-T level blurry. So you'll have to take my word for it.

I trimmed my nails way down after this round, because they looked borderline creepy. I cut them shorter than intended, as will be demonstrated next week (BUTTER LONDON SO EXCITED), but they will regenerate. I hope.