FIFTH DAY: water abstract

So I can't really call this a water marble, but it's...ALSO FESTIVE.

Note: I have only heard two people use the word "festive" in a non-sarcastic or -ironic way: my friend Rob and Lance the UPS person who visits the office. They share several characteristics, which has led me to believe they may be long-lost cousins. Lance calls me "Cookie Lady," which is vaguely annoying.

  

OPI An Affair in Red Square, Happy Anniversary!, and the Ulta-exclusive holiday 2012 Skip the Gift Wrap (that rates 89 of 100 on my Dumb Name Scale), finished with two coats of Orly Twilight. For that pearly luster.

  

The middle finger came out pretty well, which is fortunate, considering we have board meetings this week.

  

The right hand wasn't too horrible. My main issue has been the polish drying too quickly on the water, in part due to the reluctance of the polish still on the brush to drop nicely into the cup. PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT RIGHT or possibly INSANE but QUITTERS NEVER WIN POWERBALL, or something like that.

FOURTH DAY: green glitter love

My claws were starting to show enough tip wear to concern me, so I had to redo them last night. I didn't have time for anything very exciting, so this happened.

  

Orly Meet Me Under the Mistletoe under Milani Gems.

  

I want to lick that bottle sooooo much.

  

IT IS GREEN AND SPARKLY, LIKE A CHRISTMAS TREE.

  

I wish I had added some diagonal lines to simulate garland. But there's always next year.

THIRD DAY: Holiday Skittles

These were supposed to be evocative of glass ornaments or maybe the old-fashioned light bulbs or something, I don't know, it's FESTIVE.

I think "skittles" is a dumb name for this color split, but that seems to be the generally accepted term.

  

PURPLE: Essie Sexy Divide
BLUE: China Glaze Blue Year's Eve
GREEN: Zoya Suvi
RED: Zoya Isla
GOLD: Ulta High Roller
MOONS: Sally Hansen Hard as Nails X-treme Wear Celeb City (wtf)

All except the silver bits were given a nice thick coat of Essie Matte About You.

  

I was musing how the Essie is such a nice purple, why don't I ever use that one...because it's a patchy disaster polish OH YEAH I REMEMBER NOW. I am excited because I think that silver may be good for stamping.

  

That is not very well focused but shows the colors in lovely December morning shade.

My beloved assistant said they look almost art deco. SQUEEEE

SECOND DAY: shiny glitter love

Here we have Zoya Isla with tips in China Glaze Twinkle Lights over China Glaze Champagne Bubbles, with an inverted accent ring finger.

  

This got a lot of love at work, but the pictures are not wonderful.

  

I have such mixed feelings about Zoya. The average wear time is crap, but I haven't tried it with their own base and top coats yet. If they would stock them at Ulta along with the polishes, I would have picked them up by now. HINT, HINT.

FIRST DAY: snowflakes glitter love

It is DECEMBER. That means it is time for HOLIDAY NAILS. I am EXCITED.

  

I stamped the snowflakes from BM14 on China Glaze Blue Year's Eve with Konad white polish and OPI Lucerne-tainly Look Marvelous, then topped with China Glaze Fairy Dust. Lucerne did not offer enough contrast to show up as more than a shimmery shadow; I would like to do this one again with white and ice blue snowflakes and maybe a different plate. Two people thought these were stars, which is understandable as smudge happened.

  

I usually prefer teal rather than blue, but this one is a delicious cold glass-fleck type. GOOD JOB CHINA GLAZE.

  

The thumbs came out pretty well.

  

It may be December, but the high is sixty degrees today, so this will be the only snow in my life for the foreseeable future. It is good for the utility bills but bad for holiday morale. I will squeeze my eyes shut and PRETEND.

WATER MARBLE: Gothic Lolita in Strawberry Fields

I had yet to trash the house within three hours of the boy's estimated arrival Sunday, so I decided to try water marbling again.

Since everything I had ironed and ready for the week was pink or purple, I opted to experiment with China Glaze Gothic Lolita and Strawberry Fields and Sally Hansen Hard as Nails Xtreme Wear White Out, with two coats of the latter as a base and one coat OPI I Juggle...Men (that still parses oddly to me) on top.

  

This was not a resounding success, but it was good enough that I left it on. Not very consistent - marbles plus sand art plus bleeding watercolors. Let us say that adds texture to the experience.

  

I was far too proud of this and spent all day at work shoving my nails in co-workers' faces. Karma shall doubtless dictate that I can never do it again. But I think a water marble deserves mermaid colors. And unicorns.

  

As far as the colors, I admit to buying Gothic Lolita mostly for the name, but it is a lovely purple with tiny shimmer in. Strawberry Fields is hot pink with a gold glass fleck, and I always expect to like it more than I do. I may also have bought that for the name.

  

I WANT THEM TO TASTE LIKE BASKIN ROBBINS AND EASTER AND SEASHELLS.

  

If OPI is going to pull this idiocy with Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey, I think someone needs an Emilie Autumn collection to balance it out. Opheliac would be the best polish name everrrr. THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS.

DELICIOUS FISHES: Nicole by OPI Mer-Maid For Each Other

I honestly like the Nicole by OPI line better than Sephora by OPI (except for that unfortunate Kardashian thing WHO ARE THOSE PEOPLE SERIOUSLY). This is unusual as my tastes trend toward the expensive, but IT IS WHAT IT IS, as this one complete asshole used to tell me all the time.

Let us feed the mermaid obsession OH YES LET'S.

  

Nicole by OPI Mer-Maid for Each Other with an accent nail of L.A. Girls Glitter Addict Nostalgia (whatever). This is a Target exclusive. Because I am classy.

  

SUN: shiny.

  

SHADE: shiny.

  

It appears similar in the bottle to Just Spotted the Lizard but has more teal and less gold. That means you need them both.

JULEP DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A WORD: Anne and Melissa

Julep doesn't seem to get a lot of love, even now that you can get them at Sephora. Honestly, that's because they kind of suck. The formula is appalling, the colors are not inspired, and ZOYA already had the market cornered on "polishes with weird girl names." That said, I'm a sucker for their mystery boxes, and the Best Pedi Creme Ever! actually is - unfortunately it is also the Most Expensive Pedi Creme Ever!.

Here for you today we have Julep Anne (purple) and Melissa (shiny cool color)(as opposed to "shiny warm color," not "sugoi-iro").

  

People report a lot of trouble balancing the oddly-shaped bottles, but I haven't tipped one over yet. As I can knock over a glass of water superglued to the floor, I can only conclude everyone else is painting their nails blacked out drunk.

  

I reiterate: APPALLING FORMULA. THIS STUFF WILL NOT DRY. EVER. BECAUSE IT IS THICK. REALLY, REALLY, REALLY THICK.

  

I didn't think I was going to like Melissa until I put it over this, and then it appealed to me in an "oh look it matches my porch" kind of way.

According to Julep's profile quizzes, I am a "Classic Boho Beauty Bombshell with an It Girl Twist." Oh, you!




seriously, say it three times fast. julepjulepjulep

GLITTER SHATTER: OPI plus 212-Sephora

I know that everyone is well over the crackle polish by now, but I only recently figured out that it hates Seche Vite with a burning, passionate loathing. So for your passive entertainment I present OPI Gold Shatter with Sephora by OPI 212-Sephora.

  

Sometimes I am brilliant, smart, and adorable. Other times, you have to smack me in the face with a brick. I didn't realize that 212-SEPHORA was their actual phone number until I had owned this polish upwards of a year. I GOT A 32 COMPOSITE SCORE ON THE ACT, GUYS. PEOPLE LIKE ME VOTE.

Re: phone numbers, I spent an entire board meeting calling various toll free UNICORN numbers (864-2676). None of them were in service except 1-877-UNICORN, which rang and rang and rang. I so desperately wanted its voice mail.

  

I thought the gold shatter would go well with 212-Sephora since the latter's base is a kind of golden black (see also: K-sama as L-sama), but I think the contrast with a black black blackity-black would look better. It would be appropriate next time I go home around a Mizzou game, but that would involve finding out when the games are, and the bay is dry.

  

It was quite kind to my short lil thumbnail, anyway.

  

WHY DON'T I JUST SPRAY MYSELF WITH ADHESIVE AND TAKE A DUST BATH IN GLITTER yes please.

WAIT WHAT: OPI Just Spotted the Lizard

Here we have OPI's Just Spotted the Lizard from the recent Spiderman collection of summer 2012. Another dupe for Chanel Peridot, it has proven rather popular. I had almost given up getting my acquisitive little fingers on it when it turned up at my salon. Consolation for a massive wax bruise in my elbow INDEED.

  

I wore it plain on the first day but kept picturing it stamped with the concentric ringy-dings from BM19. I have a hard time with full-nail designs, but that one is a little more forgiving than some. I had to apply extra little bits around the edges, and the uneducated eyes could not tell.

  

The color shift was not all that pronounced; it's a pretty color, but it's prettier in the bottle. As I have sworn a blood oath to collect all golden nail polishes, that does not necessarily disappoint.

  

You can still catch a glimpse of green in the right light, though. I think the right light is mostly found on Neptune in the spring.

  

I have no idea what lizards have to do with Spiderman and am betting >75% of people purchasing this polish don't either. DEAR OPI: WE NEED A SAILORMOON TIE-IN FOR SUMMER 2013 GET ON THAT SUZI PLSKTHX.

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY (or, as I like to call it, Wednesday)

My fingernails are my one acknowledgement of Boom Day, as I can wear neither red nor blue in any flattering sense and have to work. Whoever complains about lazy government employees obviously never worked for small government.

  

Here we have a Sally Hansen Hard As Nail Xtreme Wear White Out under OPI Red Shatter with an accent nail of China Glaze Blue Year's Eve and Konad white stars from plate m3. It would have looked better with more stars, but for once I quit while I was ahead.



Originally I tried to paint them solid red and stamp white stripes, but the full-nail plates are not wide enough for my particular full nails. Or long enough, but I can fudge that with colored French tips. I tried to extend the stripes by hand, but it looked like a drunken five-year-old's masterpiece, so I redid them. At 11:30pm on a Sunday. PRIORITIES.

  

Lots of positive feedback on this one. It's holding up pretty well, too; day three and only very minor tip wear. I'm hoping a couple more layers of Seche Vite will take it through Saturday.

MERMAID FLAKE: Illamasqua Viridian+

Sephora is now carrying selected Illamasqua polishes in store. This is unfortunate beyond words. Here for you today we have Viridian, mostly obscured by Finger Paints Flecked.

Wikipedia offers the following definition for viridian: "a blue-green pigment, a hydrated chromium(III) oxide, of medium saturation and relatively dark in value. It is composed more of green than blue. Specifically, it is a dark shade of spring green, the color between green and cyan on the color wheel." Blogger spell check, however, does not recognize it as a valid word.

  

The color shift in the flake polish makes this into a mermaid color. A male co-worker made the incredibly uncharacteristic comment that it "looks like moonbeams." This might be accurate if in reference to a nuclear explosion on the moon as reflected in the eyes of Tethys at the bottom of the deep sea.



The Finger Paint flake polishes look kind of revolting in the bottle, actually. I bought that whole batch except the Nubar 2010 dupe and want to use them all at once to paint my car.

  

This was not as teal as I usually prefer; I like it more with the additional flake. Deborah Lippmann's Across the Universe might be even better.

   

In some light the flake tends toward blue, but the green is more prominent, at least on me.

END RESULT: This combination is pretty and distracting and somewhat toxic. WE HAVE A WINNER.

HOLO WHAT: Layla Flash Black

I decided to continue with the skull theme (Konad m28) for budget meetings this year, lovingly displayed on a holo accent nail (Layla Flash Black) in a sea of black claws (China Glaze Liquid Leather) just waiting to rip someone's eyes out. I mean happy to change any numbers you want. Coworkers' response was, overwhelmingly, "cuuuuuuute!!!"   (sigh)

  

The sun was not as cooperative as it was for Ultra Violet, but this does hint at Flash Black's gorgeous potential to destroy the world. I mean to make up some reasonable end of year estimates.



The little aurora rhinestone didn't sparkle as much as I'd hoped but it may be due to the thick coating of hot buttered rage. I mean excitement at putting the bond limit to public vote.

  

I like to paint my nails particularly shiny for situations where I need autohypnosis not to inflict blunt force trauma on anyone. THESE ARE GOOD JOBS RIGHT right.

HOLO LOVE: Layla Ultra Violet

LOOK AT THIS. I WANT TO PUT ALL MY FINGERS IN MY MOUTH AT ONCE. IT WILL TASTE LIKE UNICORNS AND LIGHTNING AND FIRE AND SUGAR AND RAINBOWS AND STAR SPRINKLES.

  

The only other holo-ish polish I have is OPI DS Design, which never looked all that good on the nail. These pictures show nails with neither base nor top coat, although I added Seche Vite later. It in no way impaired the OMGSHINY. I did use the recommended nail buffing device prior to application, but my nails are generally pretty smooth so I don't think it made any difference.



This would be my favorite polish in the universe ever except that three nails on my right hand were badly chipped within 24 hours. Aaaand I just chipped one on my left. So I think this might make a stunning accent nail but maybe not the best for a full hand. I really need to suck it up and order the Nfu Oh aqua base as that probably would help quite a bit.

  

It is also a nice color in the shade.

  

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