JULEP DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A WORD: Anne and Melissa

Julep doesn't seem to get a lot of love, even now that you can get them at Sephora. Honestly, that's because they kind of suck. The formula is appalling, the colors are not inspired, and ZOYA already had the market cornered on "polishes with weird girl names." That said, I'm a sucker for their mystery boxes, and the Best Pedi Creme Ever! actually is - unfortunately it is also the Most Expensive Pedi Creme Ever!.

Here for you today we have Julep Anne (purple) and Melissa (shiny cool color)(as opposed to "shiny warm color," not "sugoi-iro").

  

People report a lot of trouble balancing the oddly-shaped bottles, but I haven't tipped one over yet. As I can knock over a glass of water superglued to the floor, I can only conclude everyone else is painting their nails blacked out drunk.

  

I reiterate: APPALLING FORMULA. THIS STUFF WILL NOT DRY. EVER. BECAUSE IT IS THICK. REALLY, REALLY, REALLY THICK.

  

I didn't think I was going to like Melissa until I put it over this, and then it appealed to me in an "oh look it matches my porch" kind of way.

According to Julep's profile quizzes, I am a "Classic Boho Beauty Bombshell with an It Girl Twist." Oh, you!




seriously, say it three times fast. julepjulepjulep