YOU CAN CALL ME HEAVENLY: Zoya Tomoko

I have a love-hate relationship with Zoya and am on a (well-intentioned) no-buy right now, but this happened. It is one of the fall PixieDust collection, but it is unseasonably cool today, so I gave myself a preview.

  

Kawase Tomoko is what I want to be when I grow up and we have the same birthday and WOULD TOTALLY BE TWINS IF I WERE SIX INCHES SHORTER AND ASIAN LET'S BE BEST FRIENDS OKAY

  

WE CAN WEAR OUR CAT EARS TOGETHER AND I WILL BAKE STRAWBERRY CREAM CUPCAKES

  

I am not a huge fan of the textured polish thing, but this is shiny enough that I can forgive it. The Zoya "Pixie" thing is too precious for me to forgive, however. THAT'S JUST WEIRD GUYS and coming from me that's saying something....

  

I also discovered the Great Galloping Gallons promotion, where if you buy four 32-ounce bottles of Remove+ you get four free. The price per ounce is 39 cents as opposed to $1.25 per ounce when you buy the flipper thing. If you can steel yourself to spend $100 at once on nail polish remover, it's a bargain.

  

Two gallons of remover should last a couple months at least.

NEON DEATH PINK: Zoya Does It Best

In keeping with our Let's Summer Like It's 1993 theme, I present Zoya Neon Death Pink (aka Layla) with tips in Zoya Neon Death Pink mark Glitter (née Gilda).

  

I bought these as part of a box set in December a couple years ago when I was overexcited about a buy-two-get-one sale. This box came with yet another Neon Death Pink (I think Lola, which I have since given away due to general grossness thereof.

  

Oh tiny stub nails, how you radiate toxic pinkness.

I can't say that I was thrilled with either of these polishes; they like to pretend to be dry until you go to change the laundry and then HAHA MADE YOU SMUDGE. But for the probable forty-eight hours I will be able to tolerate looking at this, they were good enough.

LISA FRANK NAILS: yup, I'm that old.

I originally saw this idea on a slideshow somewhere and have seen several different versions since then. But this is my best take on it.

  

Stripes lovingly hand-painted in (from the bottom up) Orly Charged Up and Sinful Colors Cream Pink, Savage and Innocent, topped with China Glaze Fairy Dust. Leopard spots stamped with Mash-23 in Konad black. Photobucket is being an ass about letting me rotate these pictures for some reason.

  

As long as I have tiny stub nails, I need to practice stamping. Obviously.

  

Does anyone remember the Lisa Frank picture of a dog and cat wedding? The dog has a sadistic leer, and the cat looked terrified. It was so traumatizing that there is no evidence of it on the internet anywhere. Ashleigh remembers, so it was not a crack dream of my youth.

YET STILL MORE MERMAIDS: Layla Softouch 10

This is a mermaid color in spirit if not in name. The internet gods tell me #10 is "Turquoise Splash."

  

I really like the finish on this line. It is rare, if not unique, but wear time is not very good.

  

Immediately after these pictures, I snapped off my left index nail below the quick. Angst happened.

  

If I'd been wearing base coat under it and a nice thick sludge of Seche Vite over it, I'd probably still have that nail. JUST SAYING.

MERMAIDS AGAIN: Mermaid's Dream

THE ORIGINAL THAT STARTED IT ALL. Do mermaids dream of electric eels?

  

Since I live a billion miles from anywhere that sells Deborah Lippmann, my aunt gave it to me for Christmas. She had to go to a mall. You can get CHOLERA going to a mall.

  

It looks like sea glass. And magical fantasy CGI water. And things I want to lick.

  

Here I stamped it with scales from Mash-39 in Essie Good as Gold. LIKE A MERMAID TAIL. My next career is going to be "professional mermaid." IT IS A REAL THING; Google it.

MERMAIDS PART TWO: Mermaid's Kiss

I imagine that a mermaid's kiss would taste like sushi, or maybe like Trader Joe's roasted seaweed snacks in the morning. A diabetic mermaid would have breath like Sonic ocean water.

  

This matches my pink sapphire ring, but I neglected to photograph that.

  

This is what seashells look like on my home planet.

  

Formula and wear were fantastic, A+++ would buy again.

MERMAIDS PART ONE: Damn you, Deborah Lippmann.

I was somewhat enthusiastic about the Deborah Lippmann mermaid collection this spring but did well at not ordering them. Then I happened to visit an Ulta that carries the brand (mine doesn't). INSTANT FAIL. Let us start with Do the Mermaid. I'm doubtful about the name. Is "the mermaid" a dance? Google is not helping.

  

Note how it complements my new amethyst ring. PURCHASE JUSTIFIED.

  

I also acquired her Gel Lab base and top coats while the getting was good. Although they are hella expensive, it was a good buy. I used them with another polish and someone asked me if it was a gel manicure. SUCCESS. Wear time is better than Orly Bonder and Seche Vite (if there is no inherent flaw in the nail).

  

NEXT UP: Mermaid's Kiss.

FOURTH OF JULY: about what you'd expect

I tried gradient nails again. The makeup sponges I bought for the purpose seem to be capable of absorbing infinite polish, leaving an inadequate amount for the nail. Or else I need to be using one-coat polishes. Although the final product wasn't really what I intended, it was interesting enough to wear for a few days.

  

One coat of Sally Hansen Celeb City (AGAIN, I'm sorry, it just keeps happening that way), topped with ZOYA Tori and China Glaze Blue Bells Ring. The red and blue both have a silver shimmer, so the finish was consistent between the three.

  

I took a big chip off my right index finger and opted to sponge back over it for a quick fix as I was going home for the weekend and didn't have time to redo the whole thing.

  

Shade view.

Maybe kitchen-type sponges would work better? More or less godawful mess? THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS.